"Our worst fears lie in anticipation"

Nearly two years ago I was diagnosed with Renal Insufficiency, Kidney Failure.
As a 27 year old, I was not exactly sure how to process my diagnosis.
I was a nervous wreck, wondering what was going to happen next? I did not want to be sick or weak.
I was scared- My fears lied in anticipation of what now?
For those who don't know how important Kidneys are, take it from me- You need them healthy-!
When I spoke to my urologist, he stated that running would not be in my future. The impact of running was causing me further illness.
From IV fluids to prevent dehydration to antibiotics that would decrease the amount of blood being filtered into my urine.. I have been through alot.
All treatment options to assist my recovery- but no physical activity!
As a runner, that was the worst news. I was not myself without running!

So once again, I got into the pool and embraced the resistance training in the water. After each cycle of antibiotics, I would begin to - run/walk, rebuilding all the muscle I had lost while being ill. I learned the importance of hydration, electrolytes, the necessity of salt you need to replace even without activity- and even more so when you perform activity.
I had my share of ups and downs- but it was something I had to accept. Similar to a road block, you just have to find a different route to get there..
(I'm still on my way to where I need to go)...
I found a significant amount of solitude within the silence of trail running.
Challenging but extremely satisfying. During my time on the trails, I tried to make sense of it all.
-"Why am I sick?
Why cant I do the things other people can do?"
Frustrated with the circumstances with my health, I feared the "push".
-"Can my body handle a 14 mile run today? 
I do not feel well today, maybe I should just rest today... 
I do not want to be in the hospital again... I am sick of being sick!"
Years later, I am still trying to figure out what kind of day I am going to have.
Good or bad, I am still here- battling like hell- Throughout illness and injury I am on a journey that #anythingispossible - I will be an Ironman.